Home is Where the Horns Are

Three AM sirens, the Mister Softee jingle (ice cream truck), being squished between sweaty 40 year old men, walking 10 blocks to the grocery store, and pushing tourists are now all things that make me feel at home. The most common phrases I hear are, “hey do you like comedy shows?” and “There is train traffic ahead of us. Please be patient” to which I want to answer, “You can’t command me to be patient, I have a job to get too!” Oh yes, you heard that right, a job, I am a bona fide babysitter, and by this time next week I will be CPR and first aid certified as well (I also sometimes have anger issues on the subway). Needless to say I babysit 2-3 times a week on the Upper East Side (aka where the rich people live). I take care of Anna who is 8 and Davis who is 12. I feel as though they are my own kids and I do a lot of carting them around.

I am also continuing to audition a lot. It’s a long process, but every time I go I get the chance to perform, which I cherish every moment of (all 2 minutes I get in front of the casting director…or the intern). I’m also discovering that not every person in the audition room is actually mute. The last few auditions I have gone on they have asked me questions! (I have mastered how to answer the question “How long have you been in NY? “ with at least a 1-minute answer). I will shamelessly post my new headshots below too, which I now have lot of expensive copies of!!

When I’m not being an actor or hanging with kids I’m hanging with other actors and seeing LOTS of shows. “It’s research” is what I am telling my bank account!  I saw Venus in Fur on Broadway this past weekend and fell in LOVE with it! About 5 minutes into the beginning of the show, Thomas (Hugh Dancey) is on the phone when Vanda (Nina Arianda) bangs on the only door onstage because she is late for her audition. Thomas goes to open it, can’t, and returns to his phone call. About this time a voice comes on the loud speaker “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are having technical difficulties, we are going to stop the show and resume momentarily”. Can’t have a show if the character can’t get onstage! I loved it---what a wonderful theatre moment! Needless to say, the show resumed, the door got stuck once again, but no one even noticed till the end. Pretty damn good acting!! Also, seriously, come see this show. All of you. You can stay at our apartment.

The past few weekends I have spent in Nyack, NY, which is about a 35-minute train ride upstate. It is such an adorable small town and feels like an escape from the city. I forgot how much I missed grocery stores, riding in a car, quiet nights, and simply strolling without a purpose. I absolutely love the city, but it’s definitely nice to take mini vacations to suburbia!

Stef returned to her hometown this week, Dayton, OH, and I know she loves seeing everyone, but we REALLY miss her here! We are impatiently waiting for her to come home home! And then she starts her new job at the York! Which means there will be a whole new list of songs she will be belting around the house J

So life is great! We even have friends now that we go out with! I’m the happiest I’ve ever been (but will only be happier when I get in a freakin show!!!!) And Stef is becoming successful in what she wants to do and is loving life! 

In Conclusion: A panda and penguin fighting on the subway, is as natural as jaywalking. Dropping socks on the way to and from the laundry mat is as common as 10-dollar cocktails. Getting a nice looking butt from all the stairs we climb, well,…that better happen soon. It’s all part of this wonderful city we call “home”.

P.S I realize that I was quite amused writing this, but reading it over, it’s not nearly as entertaining…Perhaps try reading it in a Russian accent.